Archive | January 2012

Introducing Ms.Callie Mallory

Hey Savvy, Sexy Goddesses,

Callie Mallory here…I know, I can hardly believe it myself that my “creator” (whatever that means) isn’t here to stifle my very informative, very helpful voice herself! I mean seriously, what’s a girl got to do to get a word in edge-wise around that Natalie Baum? You’d think she runs the world the way she acts like it’s a big deal when I want to talk to my fans without her approval. Alas, I’ve distracted Natalie with an entire Chocolate Mud Cake and she’ll be busy for the next twenty minutes so we can directly chat.

If you’ve already had a chance to read about my latest adventure in Chicago [Callie Mallory Chicago Adventure] I hope you enjoyed experiencing my city dalliance as much as I enjoyed subjecting myself to all that research. 😉 But seriously, how could a female chef who adores food and everything male not love a man named Basil? His name practically begged me to eat him! I actually think it was pretty good the way I stayed composed and fully clothed as long as I did. That man was as charismatic as he looked hunky. And after getting naked with him I can honestly say, he definitely deserved to be named after a spice.

For those of you who’ve been too busy catching up with chores, tasks and New Year’s goals after all that fun holiday brew-ha-ha (no, not sure if that’s an actual word, just like the way it sounds—and that it indicates beer) and have no idea what I am talking about check out catch up on all the sexy frivolity.

Now onto business…when Andie (Abby-Rae Rose) so graciously agreed to let me blog on her site I wanted to show my gratitude by providing some awesome tips and information about food, travel and of course, my favorite passions—romantic rendezvous and exhilarating sex. And what better city to start with than the beautiful lakefront Chicago?

This first tip is a two-fer because it addresses food and sexy stealth moves. Eli’s The Place for Steak restaurant and their infamous cheesecake offers an unbelievable opportunity into sensory exploration. Their steak is divine and cheesecake creamy, coming in dozens of tasty flavors or plain.  

And no, I’m not just cruelly teasing all of you fierce ladies who don’t happen to be in Chicago—that would be rude! You can visit Eli’s website and check out their online store if you find you have a hankering for cream. (Yes, that pun was totally intended.)

No matter how or where you acquire your dessert remember this helpful seduction tip. When dining with a date slowly part your lips before lifting the fork to your mouth. Allow each bite to hover mid-air, right in front of your hot, exposed cleavage for at least fifteen seconds. This gives your suitor time to briefly linger and imagine the silky touch of your naked bosom against his flesh, before slowly feeding him each bite.

Next, I want to share with you all of the amazing places in Chicago where you can stroll and sit and discreetly explore each other’s bodies (yes, in public) once you’ve found an attentive hunk worthy of touching you in inappropriate ways.

My favorite city hotspot is the lawn that borders the Shedd Aquarium ( and overlooks Lake Michigan to the north, the city to the west. There’s plenty of space there to spread out…

(Oh no, I hear her coming. Apparently a single cake isn’t enough to distract Ms. Baum for more than 10 minutes.)

There you are! Seriously Callie Mallory you are out of control. I leave you alone because you say you need to bake in private and figure out a secret ingredient for some new recipe and then I find you instructing unsuspecting people to commit lewd acts in public that could get them arrested?!

You didn’t let me finish my sentence, warden. I was going to say spread out a picnic blanket and enjoy some wine and cheese and savory appetizers…

Uh-huh! Like I believe that’s all you were going to suggest. No way—


Not another word! I’m sorry about this folks, Callie Mallory means well and granted she does have an awful lot of fun and always seems to bump into big, desirable adventures.

See, I didn’t say that one, you did. Bumping into big, desirable body parts, that wasn’t me…

Nobody clearly stated body parts, randy girl—that was all you!

What’s wrong with body parts? Body parts are helpful. You use your hands to type and I use my hands to cook. I cook up stuff in the kitchen, on the set of my cooking show and let’s not forget the real cooking in between the silky sheets in my bed—

Okay, Ms. Mallory, heave-ho! Sorry ladies, I’ll get her under control and hopefully be allowed to blog here at Andy’s site alone in the future and provide recipes and real tips.

There, you just did it again with the “ho!”  

I didn’t mean ho as in ‘ho.’ I meant let’s you and me leave like sailors on a ship pulling out to sea.

Sailors on a ship pulling out? Why would any right-minded woman make them do that? Those men are heroes. They serve and protect our country. They deserve special treatment and consideration.

I think everybody’s heard enough from steroided-up Chef Betty Boop for one day. Say goodbye, Chef Mallory.

Goodbye, Chef Mallory!

Very mature.

Don’t worry comrade vixens, next time I’ll make sure and bake a double-layer cake and only allow her access to one fork! Until then be sure and visit me at or my Natalie Baum Romance blog or check out my full story at

Love you all,

Chef Callie 

This entry was posted on January 14, 2012.